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Monday, July 28, 2014

Sondra Dumont, Her Awakening


I thought a lot about how in the world I would begin my story, but I have thrown all those ideas out the window.  I will start from….. the Beginning! 

I was under the age of two years when my mother became involved with the Jehovah’s Witness religion.  I saw my mother get baptized when I was two years old.  She always told me that from that point on, I wanted to get baptized.  I honestly just wanted to go swimming.  I mean.... "Come on!  I was at a boring convention!  There was a pool!  C’mon, Mom!"
As a child growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness religion, I went through all the fears and scariness that a child goes through in that cult.  “Will I make it into the Paradise? Am I good enough? What will happen to my Grandmother, who is not a Jehovah’s Witness?” What a sad way to grow up.  Thinking all those you love are going to die.  I was a very judgmental little child.  Telling all and anyone about the Paradise and they would die if they did not become a Jehovah’s Witness.  I was not allowed to participate in any extra-curricular activities, or associate with any children who were not Jehovah’s Witnesses unless I was studying with them.  So, I made up Bible Studies....lots of them.  In fact, it landed me on stage in a circuit assembly. All my Bible studies!  Oh, if they only knew!
   
I lived my life in fear.  Fear!  Fear of my Father, fear of the Elders, fear of Jehovah, fear of doing anything they considered wrong.  No mistakes could ever be made.  It is a lot of fear and anxiety for any child to go through, but I still believed what they preached, although I was full of doubts.

I was baptized at the age of ten years and when the heavens did not open up to me and I felt no different than before, I thought there was something wrong with me.  I truly thought I was harboring evil.
     
Here comes the "klonopin journals" (see Klonopin, also known as Clonazepam.)  I need one just to write this part.  My father, who was a Ministerial Servant, molested me multiple times.  He used the same old tactics a lot of sexual predators use, “Don’t tell anyone or I will kill your mother and sister."  Because he strangled my mother and beat my sister, I had no reason to doubt him and his Knife collection.  So, I didn’t tell anyone. I kept my mouth shut.   

Fast forward to the age of fifteen years.  I was raped on my way home from working at the local CVS Pharmacy.  I knew my attacker, in that he asked me out on a date and I had vehemently said, “NO!"  I guess that just pissed him off.  Knowing how much "justice" the Watchtower Society was capable of, I kept my mouth shut for as long as I could.  That lasted about three months.

Then I ran away and because I was thinking all worldly people were evil, I assumed one would murder me.  Well, he did not. He picked me up in the fair city of Boston.  He took advantage of me, but it was still better than being molested and raped.  Eventually, I returned home.

After I returned home, I made a really good attempt at suicide.  I was unconscious for days in the hospital.  Then I ended up in the Psychiatric ward.  That was a blast, but at least I was out of the house.  My father was obviously nervous, because he did not have access to me to threaten me, but I was too scared to tell on him, because I was not home to protect my mother and sister.  I actually got the hospital to talk my parents into having me live outside the home for a while.  Granted, it just had to be a sister in the Kingdom Hall with whom I stayed, but it was a somewhat brief vacation.  I still saw my sister in school.   I later found out that she took the brunt of our father's anger while I was away.  So, she was none too happy with me for a while.
   
The almighty Elders' meeting.  The Judicial committee. Yes, the Elders held a Judicial Committee meeting for me, when I was age sixteen years, molested, raped, taken advantage of and suicidal.  Their main concern?  They wanted all the dirty little details and even had me draw a diagram of what the penis looked like.  Did I like it?  Did I scream out loud when I was raped?  Well, I just could not be sure if the screams were in my head or out loud.  There was no concern for my suicide attempt.  No Elder was there for me in that matter.  No visits from anyone else at the Kingdom Hall.  They only wanted to disfellowship me.   For that reason and for my runaway attempt, as well as the gentleman that picked me up in Boston, in the Judicial Committee's opinion, I had earned a real live disfellowshipping for myself.

The other Jehovah's Witness children in school were harsh.  They threw rocks at my head on the bus and they also threatened my life.  The Elders told me that I was getting what I deserved "for displeasing Jehovah."  It took me a hellish year to be reinstated.  Even my teachers were offering me their homes to stay with them, but I just could not leave my sister and mother.

For the duration of time in which I was disfellowshipped, my parents separated me from my sister, putting me in the basement.  I was allowed to only come up for meals.  I was not allowed to speak.  You see, I was considered to be bad association at that point.  I had to admit to a lie about me to be reinstated.  Ironic. Why did I bother?  I truly did believe the lies. I needed to be reinstated to make it into the Paradise.  If "the End" came before I was reinstated, I would die.  I lived every day with that fear.
   
During my senior year, I was finally reinstated and was back to being a "good little girl."  An unexpected flood forced us to leave and move to New Hampshire, where I met my future husband, a Bethelite (Bethel = Watchtower HQ).  I know what you are thinking.  Bad marriage, right?  Actually, we are still happily married and have both left the organization together.  I know!!
 
After we had been married for approximately a year, I became pregnant.  When I gave birth, all my memories of being raped and molested came back full force.  I was having nightmares, day-mares and flashbacks.  I forbade my father to come to my house.  So he became my "stalker."  My mother doubted me and my claims of him molesting me.  I am sure it is because she felt guilty.  She defended the organization, which would do nothing about it, because of the "two witness rule," which states that there needs to be two witnesses to an act in order to disfellowship, unless there is a confession.  I mean....who molests a child in front of an audience?

It took a few years but my father was disfellowshipped, not for molesting me, mind you, but for committing an act of fornication.  No justice for me, but at least my mother got her “scriptural divorce."

Later, in 2010, we lost our six-year-old boy in a tragic car accident.  The donations poured in to help us bury our son.  The grief and anger was overwhelming.  It was difficult to breathe....to sleep....to eat.....to speak.  I wish this agony on no one.  It was actually people's comments that put me over the edge.

“You should be happy! Your son has a one way ticket into the Paradise!” 

“Oh he is just sleeping until the Paradise and is better off.”

Lots of comments like those were made.  They pushed me over the edge and caused me to finally, truly question how I was raised.  Why is it that my son was better off dead?  Then maybe I am better off dead as well?  That started me on a very severely spiraling depression.  I tried suicide again and ended up in the hospital with nervous breakdowns.  I even had Shock Therapy Treatment, which helped a lot, but I still had the nagging feeling that this “better off dead” thinking was very strange and wrong.  Almost cult like?  Hmmmmm.....
   
My research then led me to my new belief that if God is real, he has no part in what we do or believe now.  I do not believe that he will murder good people just because they are not Jehovah’s Witnesses, which is what the Watchtower Society teaches.  My wasted childhood has led me to a brand new life.  I am at peace.  I am happy.  I am strong.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Quo Vadis Aps - vi invita il mondo a unirsi a loro

QUO VADIS PARTECIPERA' IL 26/7/ 2014 A QUESTO
AVVENIMENTO SPECIALE IN TUTTO IL MONDO

26 luglio MEMORIAL DAY in tutto il mondo

per le vittime della Torre di Guardi


QUO VADIS joins the 26/7/2014 at this SPECIAL EVENT AROUND the WORLD July 26 MEMORIAL DAY across the world for victims of Watchtower

26 luglio 2014

Quo Vadis a.p.s di Modena

parteciperà a questo

avvenimento speciale il 

Memorial Day

in tutto il mondo

per le vittime

della Torre di Guardia

Photo: QUO VADIS PARTECIPERA' IL 26/7/ 2014 A QUESTO 
AVVENIMENTO SPECIALE IN TUTTO IL MONDO 

26 luglio MEMORIAL DAY in tutto il mondo

per le vittime della Torre di Guardia

http://www.roccopoliti.it/?p=7379

Marti Gorton, Dilemma Resolved

Posted in group by Marti Gorton:


I'm going to post here, knowing that my friends and family will possibly see it and perhaps have their own opinions, which of course is their right.  I'm going to try to keep it condensed.  Read.  Totally 'get it,' if you scan through.  The smartest do, I believe.


I was basically born into the Watchtower Society and knew nothing else.  I tried to rebel, but it became easier to cooperate.  My mother is a Jehovah's Witness, Ali G., with two younger sisters, but my father never was and they have been divorced for years.
After I left and was disfellowshipped, my mother maybe spoke to me once a year, basically to see if I was alive.  When I told her I was pregnant, there was supreme disappointment, yet this underlying joy at getting a grandchild, so the phone calls became a little more frequent and honestly, I was grateful and happy for their involvement and really thought this could be some sort of bridge and safe place we could all be together.

Fast forward.... I gave birth to my daughter and, as a single mother with a really odd work schedule, I came to rely on my Jehovah's Witness family for support.  I never really truly ever thought it would be a problem.  I am loving and caring and so are family,
so it should all somehow be alright.  Am I right?

Wrong.  It has taken me some time to accept that regardless, my Jehovah's Witness family's goal is to indoctrinate my daughter/their grandchild anyway.  After I told my mother that she wasn't allowed to take her granddaughter to the Kingdom Hall anymore she came unglued, calling me vicious and evil and asking why did I want to hurt her and my daughter.

I have received two text messages from my mother, the first apologizing for calling me vicious and wicked, which she originally denied doing, and the second saying she would respect my wishes regarding not taking my daughter to the Kingdom Hall and to please have my daughter call her and when can she see her again.  I have responded to neither, I'm still too angry and hurt and until I can focus on what I really want to say, I won't respond.  My mother and I both know it's not about going to the Kingdom Hall, so, as much as it hurts and will hurt my daughter, *deep breath* my mother is not allowed to see her until I say she can, and most likely, it will not be without me.
 

This whole situation puts such a bad taste in my mouth.  I don't like being like Jehovah's Witnesses, in any way shape or form, but I'm going to take their standpoint, as if to say, "I'm doing this because I love you.  Until you see the dangerous path you are on, I will shun you, hoping that you can see how much I love you to do this."

So, we are at odds and I'm actually very hurt, but somewhat at peace.  These are the bones of the situation and there are, of course, so many, many more layers.  Although my mother has apologized via text messages, I don't feel like talking right now, but my daughter is home and safe with me and is going to stay that way.

It's been a few days and my.mind has been racing, and while I have no intent on denying my daughter a relationship with her grandmother, I do intend to be a lot more in control of it.  Right at this moment, I want to write to her and ask her how it feels to be shunned and ignored.  I am honestly torn between the desire to say, "Shunning!  How do you like it now?!" or whether take the calm, but super-annoying high road.   

It's so sad.  My mother has, in a sense, dug her own grave, as far as being allowed to have a granddaughter.  I still can't respond until I come out of this crazy, angry moment.  But my heart is kind, yet no longer weak.  I have already sent messages to all of my Jehovah's Witness family that they can take us as a unit, but I will no longer allow them to only communicate with my daughter.  So, now if they want to see her then I will be there...end of story. 

If any have been in a similar situation or haven't but have thoughts I welcome them.
Thank you for reading, I love you all.

Monday, July 21, 2014

UK Paedophile Ratio on SilentLambs.org

Jehovah's Witnesses in United Kingdom Pedophile Paradise Exposed!

(See below for Link to other important information about the paedophile situation in the Watchtower Society.)

From Silentlambs.org below is a list of elders prosecuted in the UK in the last four years so far (2010-2014). This is public record of which most involves elders in congregations when the children were harmed.
Mark Sewell
2014
Barry, Wales
William Rogers
2014
Ipswich
Jon Rose
2014
Manchester
Oliver Conner
2014
Slough
Robert Bill
2014
Holywell, Wales
William Abbot
2013
Wallasey
Heleen ward
2013
Wallasey
Gordon Leighton
2013
Washington, Tyneside
Massimo Capazzo
2013
Bradford
Andrew Collins
2013
Bradford
John Telfer
2013
Dairy, Shropshire
Justin Lelux
2013
Kirkaldy, Scotland
David Evans
2012
Penpedairol, Wales
Dustin Gandley
2012
Bridgewater, Somerset
Paul Wood
2012
Sudbury, Berks
teven Baine
2012
Southport, Lans
Eunice Spry
2012
Gloucester
John Drury
2012
Colchester, essex
William Danga
2011Beckenham London
Kirk Lefcovitch
2011
Ely, Cambridge
Anthony Burns
2010
Wisbech
Thoms Gold
2010
Alloa Scotland
Gordon Redmund
2010
Brighton
Frank Bridge
2010
Astley Bridge , Lancs
George Cockerill
2010
Hull
Geoff Massey
2010
Wallasey, Merseyside
"Twenty-six congregations in four years! This highlights the epidemic of pedophiles caused by bad policy that continues to this day. The Governing Body has clearly shown they could care less about protecting kids or assisting victims. Currently the UK Charity Commission is reviewing tax exempt status of the organization due to abuse allegations. Interestingly the Worldwide Work Fund is a tax free cash cow that collects billions of dollars from the public and members. Every donation results in a few cents of each dollar going to fund the defense of a pedophile and using elders to obstruct justice. Please do not make donations to this fund as it ultimately hurts Jehovah’s Witness kids." - William H. Bowen, silentlambs.org
My own comment: The 50 states of the U.S. has different privacy laws than the U.K. has. Logically the number of convicted JW pedophiles raping JW kids must be much higher than in the UK. Keep a paper copy of this handy for active JWs in the real world anytime you find one trying to downplay the crisis going on within the Watchtower Society misleadership over JWs.

Transcript: Panorama BBC
 
Database of UK and Eire paedophiles/child abusers   

Why Child Abuse Exists Within the Watchtower Society

Big Fat Lies in Public Statement made by Paul Gillies, spokesman for the Britain branch of Jehovah's Witnesses 


Cécile Bourreau, Telling It Like It Is!

Dear Governing Body,
 

My entire childhood, as well as my twin sister 's childhood and my brother's childhood were devoted to you.  My mother learned your teachings as truth in the early 1980's and is still one of your most faithful servants.  The three of us had to wait until 1996 and more favorable conditions, due to the first parliamentary report on cults in France, to be able to escape your cult, because, as you probably already know, dear Governing Body, you are a cult, a dangerous cult.  Your organization ignores, despises, destroys the most vulnerable people especially the children who have still put their trust in you!
 

Since my father was opposed to the education by your teachings that our mother wanted to give us, your Jehovah's Witnesses kidnapped us and replaced our natural family, making us believe that our father was condemned and that we were orphans, children without a father, as you say today.  But none of Jehovah's Witnesses helped my mother, who raised us alone.  Cut off from the world, we were isolated, as landmarks in the world to whom we could put our trust, and our mother devoted all her time to Jehovah, to the point of developing schizophrenia with which caused us to have to fend for ourselves.
 

At school, we represented your organization very well.  We respected your imperative to give a "pure" image of the Watchtower Society, which you refer to as Jehovah's organization.  We endured ridicule and molestation because of His Name, and your bans, without flinching.  For years and years, we prayed for your god to save us and to help us to save lives, we kept vigilance regarding Satan, we lived in daily expectation of Armageddon, we learned to become martyrs and perfect soldiers of your organization, the Watchtower.  We spent all our free time giving devotion to your proselytizing.  What for?  We had no choice.

Since all evil comes from Satan and all good from Jehovah, when I was sick, my mother thought I was possessed.  Your Jehovah's Witnesses intervened, only when it became embarrassing for your community.  I was on the verge of developing sepsis and could have needed a transfusion.  Witnesses told us that if we talked about our poor lives to worldly people, we would be separated.  We grew up under the fearful threat of being destroyed if we left the cult.  You left us no alternative!
 

We were forced to suffer from the actions and the thoughts of your dedicated and deviant Jehovah's Witnesses in silence.  The passivity that you profess to have in world affairs concerning your "brothers" and "sisters" is actually no assistance at all to people in danger.
 

I saw elders humiliating repentant adults, children seeking affection from their alienated parents, who hold sacred your interests above everything, including above their own children's health, suicidal children carrying serious emotional and educational deficiencies.

On behalf of all adult and children, who are victims of your organization, I hold you personally responsible for all the wrongs that we have suffered and for those who still suffer, for the abuses and their consequences, psychological, emotional, spiritual and educational.
 

The day will come, whereupon it will be you, Governing Body, who will have to account for all the injustices that you have perpetuated and that you continue to perpetuate.

NOTE:  If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of silentlambs.org.  For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.

If you would like to have your CHILD CUSTODY case reviewed, William H. Bowen also founded the Jehovah's Witnesses Child Custody website to provide information and assistance for former or Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses with child custody issues. 

If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness in need of counseling concerning you or your child having been molested/raped, please go to the Silent Lambs website for assistance.  http://www.silentlambs.org/assistance/index.cfm

Want to know where to find the concrete evidence against the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses?  Here's a few links to get you started:
 
Facts About Jehovah's Witnesses

Silent Lambs

Watchtower Documents.Com

Watchers of the Watchtower World

Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA)

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Online

^^^ The above website includes "An Elder Shares His Honest Opinions"
http://ex-jw.com/elder-shares-honest-opinions  (THAT should be an interesting read!)

Cécile Bourreau, dit le Collège Central comme il est


Cher Collège Central,
Toute mon enfance, celles de ma sœur jumelle et de mon petit frère vous ont été consacrées.
Ma mère a connu votre vérité au début des années 1980 et est encore aujourd'hui une de vos plus fidèles serviteurs.
Nous avons du attendre 1996, et le rapport de l'assemblée parlementaire de la République Française sur les sectes en France, pour pouvoir nous échapper de votre secte.
Comme vous le savez probablement déjà, cher Collège Central, vous êtes une secte et une secte dangereuse.
Votre système ignore, méprise, détruit les personnes les plus vulnérables en particulier les enfants, qui vous font pourtant confiance !
Comme mon père était opposé à l'éducation que ma mère voulait nous donner, vos témoins nous ont enlevés et se sont substitués a notre famille naturelle en nous faisant croire que notre père était condamné et que nous étions orphelins.
Mais aucun n'est venu en aide à ma mère pour nous élever tous les trois. Coupés du monde, nous étions livrés à nous-mêmes, et notre mère consacrait tout son temps à jehovah au point de développer une schizophrénie avec laquelle nous avons du apprendre à nous débrouiller seuls. A l'école, nous vous avons bien représentés, nous avons respecté votre impératif de donner une image "pure" de l'organisation de Jéhovah. Nous avons supporté les moqueries et vos interdictions sans broncher. Nous avons prié pendant des années votre dieu, nous nous sommes gardés de satan, nous avons appris à devenir des martyrs et de parfaits soldats de votre organisation. Nous avons consacré tout notre temps libre à vos activités prosélytes. Pourquoi?
Nous n'avions pas d'autres choix.
Puisque tout mal vient de Satan et tout bien de Jéhovah, un jour que j'étais tombée malade, ma mère a cru que j'étais possédée. Vos témoins ne sont intervenus qu'au moment où cela devenait gênant pour l'organisation. J'étais sur le point de développer une septicémie et il aurait fallu me transfuser.
Les témoins nous ont dit que si je parlais de nos conditions de vie à quelqu'un du monde, ma soeur, mon frère et moi, nous serions séparés. Nous avons été menacés d'être "anéantis" si nous quittions l'organisation. Vous ne nous avez laissés aucune autre alternative. Nous devions subir en silence les actes et les pensées de vos témoins dévoués et déviants.
La passivité que vous professez dans les affaires du monde constitue une non-assistance à personnes en danger.
J'ai vu des anciens humilier des adeptes repentants, des enfants maltraités, en quête d'affection de parents aliénés faisant passer vos intérêts avant tout autre chose, des enfants suicidaires en grave carence affective et éducative...
Au nom de tous ces enfants victimes, je vous tiens personnellement responsables de tous les torts que nous avons subis et que nous subissons, les maltraitances et leurs séquelles physiques, psychologiques, affectives, spirituelles, éducatives.
Le jour venu, ce sera à vous, Collège Central, de rendre compte de toutes les injustices que vous perpétuez.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Angela Jean Tharp, Standing Up with Her Heart

My Open Letter to the Watchtower Society,

I have jogged my memory several times, thinking about how I could piece something like this together.  Every time I have tried to explain my doubts about the Watchtower Society to my current Jehovah Witness family, they tell me that I am “mean” and “bitter."  They have said that I need to be more “forgiving” and that I should “accept” them as Jehovah’s Witnesses.  It always seems to turn into an argument with my mother who is still a Jehovah’s Witness.

“How can you move forward when you are too busy living in the past!” she tells me all the time.

When I hear her say this I am reminded by those familiar feelings that something is wrong with me and I tend to think, 'Hmm, maybe she is right? Maybe I am bitter and mean.'  She and my Jehovah Witness family depict me this way, as an angry person.  When I become defensive about my views of the organization, I do get upset.  I do get mad and I do get hurt because I see how much control this organization has on the family unit and individuals.

I have seen so much and I wish I could somehow escape it but I can’t because there will always be these memories:
• I have seen an Elder cheat on his wife with his own sister in law.
• I have consoled a younger sister who was molested and raped by her own father.
• I have consoled other young sisters who were demeaned and beaten by their fathers and brothers.
• I have seen my own father and my own brothers demean our mother and refer to her as “WOMAN!” as though she were a slave of some sort.
• I have seen an Elder with a rebellious teenager have a heart attack and die because his own daughter was disfellowshipped.  I saw her shunned at her father's funeral, weeks later.
• I have seen a mother and father turn their back on their young daughter because she resisted the “truth” and moved away.  Several years have passed and they have never met their only grandson.
• I have seen young brothers and sisters struggle with their sexual identity and be disfellowshipped after they have come out as homosexuals.
• I have seen young girls have incestuous relations with their siblings and it will never to be addressed.
• I saw young girls forced to marry so that the parents no longer have to worry about supporting them.
• I have seen the mean girls of the congregation treat other girls, who cannot afford to dress according to their styles, treat them in the most mean ways.
• Mothers and other wives fall into cliques and treat each other horribly.
• I have seen young people and old people die due to not being allowed to have a blood transfusion.
• I have also seen the Elders take advantage of these elderly people and hoax them to become executors of their estates, later to sign over the entire estate to the organization.

Maybe something is wrong with me that I am so mad about seeing these things happen to good people.  There are so many more wrong behaviors that I have seen and I will often get flashbacks, when something disturbing about the organization pops into my head.  I can never forget these things.

I have always argued with my family, “How could you be okay with these things happening?” and their response is always to "leave it in Jehovah’s hands."  So I did until now.  Now I have decided to stop waiting.

I have this amazing mind that blows up with ideas and helps me to feel all these incredible emotions about the Watchtower Society of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  I can’t just sit down and do and say nothing.  I can’t just be quiet.

When my sister was drugged and molested in her early teens, I put my foot down.  I went to the elders and told them what happened, but nothing came of my complaints.  I told my mother to go to the police and file a police report.  I sent the police to the house and my mother did not prosecute because the woman that did this to my sister was related to us and had children.  To see my beautiful sister have to carry some of the same burdens that I carry is where I draw the line.  I was told that my sister was already sexually active as though it were okay for a thirteen-year-old to be molested by an older woman.  No one did anything.  No one stood up for her, but me.  My brother, my grandmother, my father, nor my mother did anything to protect her.  They urged her to forgive and forget with no sort of advice of professional counseling.  Without those professional resources, all we have are drugs, alcohol and sex.  We will not value ourselves and will continue the pain and continue to not love ourselves as women, because we were never taught how to celebrate the beautiful women that we are.  It is wrong to take innocence away from a boy or a girl.  For the sake of my daughters and my nephews and my future nieces, I cannot be silent and wait.

The Watchtower Society of Jehovah Witnesses does not encourage victims to make reports of sexual abuse to the police.  Somewhere out there is another sixteen-year-old girl, who is doubting this organization just the same way I did and who feels that she has no chance of ever being anything else other than a housewife/Pioneer to some Elder who will lord over her and she could have daughters who will follow her path, so I am going to do my best to put a stop to it right now.

I am going to put my foot down and say I can move forward towards my OWN future, not Jehovah’s, not the Watchtower Society's.  My life is mine.  I am going to be a better person today and do the right thing RIGHT NOW!

The organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses destroys families, isolates family members from the only family they have and demands that they follow Jehovah’s (insert Governing Body's here) laws, via scare tactics, threats and intimidation.

I say to you, "Doubt this way of thinking! The world was a scary place for me and it still can be a scary, but you are the only one who has control over your happiness."

I didn’t know what it meant to be free, until I left.  I didn’t understand what opportunities I had, until I left.  This is what I am fighting for.  This is why I approach Jehovah’s Witnesses and tell them,

“If you have any shred of doubt about this organization, do research on your own, without the Watchtower Society publications, which are made only for you to read.  Any organization that does not allow you to read other publication or texts about faith is trying to control you."

I have been very hurt by my family.  My father, my brothers, my grandmother, grandfather, uncles and aunt and my mother have all sided with the Jehovah’s Witnesses and call me “mean” for speaking up against the organization.

They have said, “If you hate Jehovah, then you hate me” and I beg to differ.

Our bond is not like any other. You are my family and I will always fight for those memories and those happy times in hopes that some day you just might 'get it.'  When the Watchtower Society turns their back on you or your children, I will be here.  I will have the home for your children, who are forced into this faith, where they can come to get away from the Society, because if you don’t ever leave, surely they might.  I will never give up on that.

This is the sort of unconditional love that I have for my family and for my extended family who have suffered at the Watchtower Society's hands.  This is not about biblical philosophies, because I am confident with myself to know that if there is a God, he would want me to do this.

NOTE:  If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of silentlambs.org.  For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.



If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness in need of counseling concerning you or your child having been molested/raped, please go to the Silent Lambs website for assistance.  http://www.silentlambs.org/assistance/index.cfm

Want to know where to find the concrete evidence against the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses?  Here's a few links to get you started:
 
Facts About Jehovah's Witnesses

Silent Lambs

Watchtower Documents.Com

Watchers of the Watchtower World

Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA)

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Online

^^^ The above website includes "An Elder Shares His Honest Opinions"
http://ex-jw.com/elder-shares-honest-opinions  (THAT should be an interesting read!)

The Believer

The Believer - Story of Jehovah's Witness Missionary
Link (above) is provided so as not to incur copyright infringement.

The Story of Bethany Lostly

I would like to begin by telling you all that I have only been disfellowshipped from the Watchtower Society for a few months now.  I was inactive for one year prior, originally hoping I could just fade out.

Many people have asked me how I can be so sure I will not want to return to a good standing in Jehovah's organization, after such a short period of time outside of it.  The answer is quite simple really.  I do not believe anyone should suffer the abuse I have seen and experienced.  When I say abuse, I mean the abuse of power by the branch office or "Governing Body," physical abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse of women, children, and some teens (boys and girls), psychological abuse, and abuse of the Bible itself to justify horrible things.  I am only twenty-three years old and I could give countless examples of all the different types of abuse I have just mentioned, but I will limit myself to just a few.

1. Abusers often hide themselves by having a position of good standing within the congregation.  One such person that has gotten away with this is my Grandmother.  She lived with my family ever since my Grandfather (who was actually a wonderful person despite being a witness) passed away when I was age eleven.  The psychological abuse she rendered to me has been understood by very few people.  By the time I was age thirteen years, I began struggling with an eating disorder.  My Grandmother was relentless in her criticism of my body.  I was overweight, sure enough, but she went so far as to tell me that I needed plastic surgery to reduce the size of my breasts so I would not look so provocative.  She told me that no "brother" in the Kingdom Hall was going to want such a big girl.  She would take me out to buy me new dresses, allegedly to apologize for her hurtful words.  Then later, she would ridicule me publicly at the meetings, saying how fat I looked or how I was showing to much skin in the same dresses.  Just to be clear, I did have my father check my clothes before I left the house.  Everything was below the knee and nothing was showing.

When I was fifteen years old, my Grandmother's abuse of me moved from strictly psychological to physical.  She knocked me to the ground, after I stood up to her.  I refused to speak to her for two years after that.  All the while, still going to meetings and even Regular Pioneering (full time preaching title) with everyone wondering why I was so mean to my Grandmother.  Why would I not ride in the same car or work with her in service?  I even tried to tell the elders why, but they only halfway listened to what I was saying and said that I needed to stop trying to blame innocent people for my depression.  You see my Grandmother is still today considered a shining example of a true Christian woman, and is held in high regard in her congregation.  She has adopted a new family, and even when I tried address our differences with her, in an attempt to put the past behind us and make a new start, she refused me.

2. The man I thought I loved ruined my reputation and my ability to trust.  He and I were helping to rebuild homes after a natural disaster when we met. He was a Ministerial Servant (elders' go-fer) and a Regular Pioneer.  When he told me he wanted to be with me, I thought I had hit the Jehovah's Witness' jackpot!  Little did I know he wanted someone to step on, not someone to love.  My idea of love, at the time was so warped already, due to the abuse by my Grandmother's hands that I didn't even realize how bad my situation was until almost a year later.  When I finally realized that he was just trying to break my spirit by telling me how fortunate I was that he found me and decided to love me, I tried to end it.  This made him very angry.  He began demanding more and more of me physically.  It started with provocative pictures, and grew into something very dark and twisted.  I didn't know how to get out of his insane idea of a relationship, so I just began accepting it, even telling my friends that we were secretly engaged, at his request.  Although my parents tried to end it for me, they weren't able to really end our relationship until six months later.  By then, I had been badly beaten, molested, and probably raped but I do not have my complete memory of the time I was abducted to say for sure.

That whole ordeal left me broken inside. I began hurting myself intentionally and eventually attempted suicide.  It is to my great relief now that I was unsuccessful.

3. Even after all those and many other things happened, I remained faithful as a Jehovah's Witness.  I kept attending and participating, even though most of the time, it was more like just routine, rather than an actual desire to be at the meetings.  I had been publicly reproved for sneaking around with my abuser.  I no longer qualified for Bethel (Watchtower Society Headquarters in New York) or Gilead (a school to train missionaries).  What could I do now?  I had been planning on that my whole life, because I was born into this religion.  My Mother encouraged me to go back to school and find something I enjoyed learning.  I found psychology and thought about all the good I could one day do in my ministry, if I truly understood how to talk to and understand people outside the organization.  I believed that if I could understand the way they thought, maybe I could understand why they didn't all just start studies right away and come to an accurate understanding of the Bible.

I was met with so much opposition by Jehovah's Witnesses.  I was asked why I would waste so much time on this pointless degree?  When I explained, I was told there was no need for what I was doing because the world could not teach me anything that the Watchtower Society could not show me.  I kept going anyway.

I had made really good grades in my home school program and have always been an avid reader.  It was nice to be able to have those things appreciated for once.  I felt really smart for the first time, outside of just giving a good talk or comments at meetings.  After being beat down so much, college was the perfect way for me to build myself back up and feel like a strong woman.  I even qualified for a scholarship based on my grades, which allowed me to move out!  My Grandmother could no longer get to me!

Well, I still was counseled by the elders, often about my choices, and here is where one Elder abused his power and position as an Elder.  He heard what was going on in my life during a confidential meeting that I asked for, in order to be encouraged by the Elders, and he turned it into that Sunday's public discourse.  I was infuriated!  He gave a thinly veiled example of "a girl in one of the local congregations that was seeking a secular education in the field of psychology" when he knew good and well that I was the only girl in the circuit going to school at all.  He talked about how saddened he was that this girl was not only wasting her time, but that she was wasting it in a field that was useless.  He went on and on about how psychology is always changing and even how the people teaching the classes change what they say from year to year, due to constantly evolving theories. He told the congregation that nothing taught in those classes was lasting like the knowledge Jehovah's Witnesses teach.  Then he continued and gave examples of my personal struggles with my faith and blamed them on higher education.  When he was finishing up this humiliating display, I stood up and stared at him.  I was in the second row and just stared him down to the point that he took a step back.  Then I left making a point to slam both doors on my way out!

Elders are put into position in order to take care of the congregation.  They are meant to support, help, listen, and offer sound, Bible-based advice.  Instead they gave me criticism and humiliation.  A common phrase among Jehovah's Witnesses is that "the Elders are imperfect men in a perfect organization."  Does it seem perfect to you?

4. My fourth and final point to make is that nothing about my experiences are isolated or unique.  They are, in fact, very common.  I didn't realize how much so, until after I moved from that congregation and found the same thing in two other congregations in that area.  Then I moved across the country and found the same conditions.  4,000 miles I ran, and still it was right in my face.

Then I heard one of my old friends had been molested by a "brother" in my home congregation.  Even though he had been convicted in a court of law, he was not even reproved and was having gatherings at his home again, where he had all the opportunity in the world to repeat his offense again and again.  Yet my friend's father had been disfellowshipped for taking action (reporting the abuse) and harboring bad feelings towards this man.  I stopped going to the meetings after hearing of this.  I was so disgusted with the whole organization, and the policies in place that allow this pedophile to be out in the open, yet cleverly disguised.

I was disfellowshipped early this year for having a boyfriend outside the organization.  I was not unhappy about being kicked out.  After all that, I truly no longer had any desire to be a part of the Watchtower Society, anyway.  What I am not satisfied with, however, is being shunned by half of my family and all of my old friends because of being disfellowshipped.

The one thing I want everyone reading this to know is that most of Jehovah's Witnesses are just victims.  I do not even hate the people that abused me, because I now know that they are just victims.  They have had their thinking so deluded and and twisted by the ever-changing teachings of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (WBTS) that I really do think that they believe what they have done is okay.  At the very least, they think it is easily forgivable, because they did not get into too much (if any) trouble.

Also, I would like to clarify that my parents did not have knowledge of the abuse I suffered when it was happening.  They are really good people and I believe that they are just very conflicted because that truly is their faith.  There are good people just trapped inside, and these people are also victims in many of their own different ways. Many of them scared to leave, even if they want to, because of fear....fear of losing their family and friends, because of a ridiculous shunning policy (anyone disfellowshipped is shunned as if they no longer exist by Jehovah's Witnesses).  Imagine knowing that if you openly disagree with Watchtower Society teachings or go out for one night on the town and have one too many drinks and the wrong person hears about it, or even if you were just in the wrong place with the wrong people at the wrong time, it could cost you your whole world; all of your friends and family, even your ability to simply say "hello" to anyone in your place of worship.  In a place where most people seek peace of mind and spiritual help, you cannot even say "hello" to anyone you care for or anyone that you know cares for you.  The Governing Body calls this policy a "loving arrangement!"

This was just a glimpse into how I, one person among nearly eight-million, have been permanently injured by the wretched policies put in place by the Governing Body and the way those policies are implemented to cause/ allow suffering.  The Governing Body claim that their teachings/policies are all Bible-based.  Where in the Bible does it say that any of this is okay?  I have read it cover to cover several times and I do not understand their view.  I feel they are just twisting the Bible to suit what they want, in order to maintain control over their members.  My heart breaks for everyone affected by this whole thing.

NOTE:  If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of silentlambs.org.  For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.

If you would like to have your CHILD CUSTODY case reviewed, William H. Bowen also founded the Jehovah's Witnesses Child Custody website to provide information and assistance for former or Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses with child custody issues. 

If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness in need of counseling concerning you or your child having been molested/raped, please go to the Silent Lambs website for assistance.  http://www.silentlambs.org/assistance/index.cfm

Want to know where to find the concrete evidence against the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses?  Here's a few links to get you started:
 
Facts About Jehovah's Witnesses

Silent Lambs

Watchtower Documents.Com

Watchers of the Watchtower World

Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA)

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Online

^^^ The above website includes "An Elder Shares His Honest Opinions"
http://ex-jw.com/elder-shares-honest-opinions  (THAT should be an interesting read!)